Needing You
by CokeFreak
Summary: HP&OoP spoilers! Remus comes to Privet Drive to talk to Harry, and their summer together begins. No slash.
1. Coming in a time of Need

Hey! After reading HPOoP I just had to write this! I know it's short but that's ok. Please  
  
R/R. I don't own Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling does. SHE IS GOD! I will update my other  
  
story, Brothers Til Death Do Us Part in the next few days! Another note, I will consider  
  
adding to this and make it into a full 6th year story but I will think more serious about it after  
  
I finish the fanfic I am working on now!  
  
**  
  
It was summer again and the heat that was obvious last summer was back again, and most of the  
  
residents were inside their homes with their windows opened trying to catch the small breeze that  
  
had started up an hour ago. The residents inside 4 Privet Drive were all around the TV, pudgy  
  
16-year-old Dudley Dursley was watching on his favorite TV shows, and his parents sat in chairs  
  
near him proud of their son. Why they were proud of him was anyone's guess.   
  
  
  
If you looked inside 4 Privet Drive you would think there were only three people living there, the  
  
pictures on the walls were of the same three people. But another boy did live there and he had spent  
  
most of his summer locked in his room not wanting to come out. The Dursleys had obeyed the  
  
warning giving to them by the wizards as they left with Harry Potter at the train, they called him  
  
down to dinner, watched him not eat the food that was placed in front of him, and they even tried  
  
to talk to him though of course it was asking when was he going to be leaving.   
  
The boy Harry Potter didn't care anymore. So who cared if he missed a few meals or hadn't spoken a  
  
word all summer? What did it matter? Why did living matter? He was dead. Sirius was dead. In his  
  
third year Sirius Black, his godfather had entered his life and for the first time he had someone who  
  
understood him, who was the parent figure he had never had but not anymore. He had been killed by  
  
Death Eaters just a few months ago and Harry had been there when it happened. He died because of  
  
me, he died because of me, it was all he could think of that summer.   
  
He spent most of his days pacing his bedroom, holding the mirror Sirius had given him. The last  
  
thing he had given him. He slept with it under his pillow, and he carried it around all day.   
  
**  
  
It was the middle of July when a man appeared on Privet Drive and appeared so suddenly you  
  
would have thought he appeared out of nowhere. But of course he did. He had brown hair that was  
  
greying and had long black robes that seemed to hang off of him. He didn't look well, circles were  
  
under his eyes and his eyes did not show any warmth. He they were sad and a little cold looking but  
  
after what he had been through, who could blame him. Harry Potter was not the only one mourning  
  
Sirius Black's death.  
  
He walked up to 4 Privet Drive and knocked on the door. He waited patiently thinking about the last  
  
time he had entered this house. He was not waiting long until Dudley Dursley opened the door, saw  
  
him in his robes and fled. His father Vernon Dursley hearing his son's screams came forward.  
  
"Who are you?" He asked angrily.   
  
"I'm here to see Harry Potter," the man said in a calm voice. He stepped inside the house and the  
  
door was shut behind him in a hurry. The man looked at the door and then at Dursley, he had a  
  
feeling that Dursley was scared one of the neighbors would see him.  
  
"What business-  
  
"You remember that warning that was given to you at Kings Cross?" the man said suddenly. He  
  
pulled out his wand. "I was in that group and I will live up to the warning. Where is Harry?"  
  
"I'm here Professor Lupin," a small voice said from the stairs. Harry had been in his room when he  
  
heard his cousin's screams and he knew a wizard or witch had entered the house. Harry had his hand  
  
on the railing and he looked at Lupin with his emerald eyes that was missing its usual spark. His  
  
black hair was just as messy and untamable and like Lupin, his clothes seemed to hang on him.   
  
"I think I'll take this conversation upstairs, where we can't be disturbed," Lupin put his wand away  
  
and made for the stairs. Not a word was exchanged as the pair made their way up to Harry's room.  
  
In Harry's room Lupin shut the door and turned to Harry, "How are you? And the truth please." He  
  
knew Harry would say he was fine and after the events of the previous school year he knew he  
  
wasn't.  
  
Harry didn't speak. He sat back down on his bed and stared at his lap. There was a tense moment as  
  
Lupin stood by the door and Harry sat on his bed.  
  
"I'm not your godfather and I know you don't want me to act like one," Lupin made his way to the  
  
bed. He knelt so he was level with Harry. "But I care for you dearly just as your godfather did."  
  
Lupin looked into Harry's eyes and saw a tear coming down one eye. Harry spoke in the same small  
  
voice, "I miss him."  
  
"As do I," Lupin agreed. "And that is why I have come. No one can understand what you are going  
  
though, though I can relate. Sirius was my best friend and my brother and when we saw each other  
  
again in the Shrieking Shack I felt a part of me come back. Now it's gone again. To you Sirius was  
  
the link to your parents, he was your father figure and I know he meant the world to you. You meant  
  
the world to him, and he never stopped talking and worrying about you."  
  
"Its not fair," Harry said. "What's the point of going on? Sirius is dead."  
  
"Do you think Sirius would want you to think this way? If he came in right now and saw us moping  
  
like this he'd have a fit." Lupin managed a smile. "He always lived life to its fullest. That is why he  
  
couldn't stand being locked in the house all the time, he couldn't do anything, it was killing him."  
  
"But he won't walk in here right now," Harry pointed out.  
  
"No, he won't and that is why I am here," said Lupin. "I don't want to replace Sirius or James but  
  
Harry I would like us to get to know each other better. I was always around when you were born,  
  
playing with you, helping Lily take care of you and though you aren't one year old any more I'd like  
  
to help you Harry."  
  
"I don't want to," Harry shook his head. "No offense Professor but I can't."  
  
"Please call me Remus," Remus asked him. "You don't want to get close to someone because what...  
  
you fear losing someone again?"  
  
Harry didn't respond.  
  
"We are at war Harry, people are going to die, it's a fact and that is why we must come together and  
  
help each other through this," Remus spoke softly. "I have lost those I felt I could not live without  
  
but I go on. I want to be there for you Harry. I think that only together will we both be fine in the  
  
end. Sirius meant the world to you, and to me, he was my brother. We went through so much  
  
together."  
  
Harry looked at him, his eyes were glazed as though he was thinking back to that time. He shook his  
  
head and looked at Harry. "I want you to know that I want to be there for you and help you through  
  
this time. I want you to think of me as your friend, as someone you can come to when you're in  
  
trouble or you need someone to talk to."  
  
Harry didn't respond to this. For several minutes they stared at each other. Harry felt tears coming  
  
again. He didn't want to cry, he hadn't cried since Sirius died but Remus opened his arms to Harry  
  
and Harry flung himself from the bed into his arms. He cried, he let out everything he had been  
  
keeping in. Remus patted his back but didn't speak. Harry cried on his shoulder, he knew he was  
  
acting like a baby but what did it matter, Remus said he understood, he said he would be there for  
  
him. Remus and Harry stayed like that   
  
"I miss him so much Remus," Harry said taking a breath. He released himself from Remus.  
  
"So do I," Remus patted his back. "I brought your birthday present. It's a box of things, which Sirius  
  
gave to me incase anything happened. It's a common thing between the Order and Aurors to leave a  
  
box of things to remember someone by. Sirius left it to me but you need it more I do."  
  
He got up. He looked out the window, and it was getting dark. He looked at Harry, "I'd better go  
  
now."  
  
Harry looked at him red eyed and with dry tears on his face. He wiped his eyes, "Stay with me... stay  
  
with me tonight?"  
  
Remus nodded, "Of course Harry." He looked at the door, "I'll get us dinner shall I? And of course  
  
inform the Dursleys that I will be staying." He walked to the door. He turned back at the sound of  
  
his name though.  
  
"Thank you Remus." Harry said. "I didn't realize how much I needed you."  
  
"Your welcome," Remus said. "We all promised your dad we would look out for you. And as much  
  
as you need me, I need you back." 


	2. Mistakes of the Past

All right so here is another chapter. I changed my mind, I'm not going to do a full 6th year story  
  
because after hours of brainstorming, I couldn't think of a single thing. This is going to be short,  
  
cute, Remus and Harry story, no slash. It will end on September 1st, just a summer story, and all the  
  
good stuff like that. I know this chapter is short, it's all I wrote last night but I wanted to see what  
  
everyone thought of it. I hope you enjoy it, and I don't own Harry Potter, J. K. Rowling does. Thank  
  
you, please R/R.  
  
**  
  
Remus woke the next morning and for a moment he wasn't sure where he was. He looked around  
  
the room and his eyes settled on the figure sleeping on the small bed. It all came back to him, he had  
  
come to see how Harry was, and then he had spent half the night comforting him after another dream  
  
about Sirius' death. Remus got out of the chair he had slept in and wrote Harry a note.  
  
Harry,  
  
Had to go, will be back soon. If all goes well, I will have you out of here in two days.  
  
Remus  
  
He left the house as silently as he could, and a few streets away he disapparated back home. He went  
  
back to his house, where he had lived when Sirius had been on the run and where he had stayed in  
  
the darkest years of his life, the years after Lily and James died. When Sirius offered his parent's  
  
house to the Order he had moved in there to keep Sirius company, but he couldn't stay there now, he  
  
had hated the Black family almost as much as Sirius had.   
  
He showered and changed and then went to Hogwarts. He had to talk to Dumbledore, he had to get  
  
Harry out of there. Who cared about the protections and all that stuff, Harry needed to get out of  
  
there now, for his own well being.  
  
**  
  
Harry woke an hour after Remus left. He was still tired after not getting a lot of sleep the previous  
  
night. He had been thankful Remus had come by, but why did he have to leave? He read the note,  
  
his heart lifted slightly about the thought of leaving.   
  
He thought about the talk he had with Remus the previous day, Remus was right, he didn't want  
  
another godfather, that would always be Sirius but it would be nice to have someone like Sirius that  
  
he could talk to when he needed to. He wanted a link to his parents, and he wanted someone to tell  
  
him that he was living up to his father's name.   
  
His eyes glazed the room, there were a few books on the ground near the wall after he had thrown  
  
them as hard as he could in angry over Sirius' death. On the floor next to his trunk was unopened  
  
letters from Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Mrs. Weasley. They all wrote he was sure to ask how he  
  
was, and if he was holding up. He didn't want to read those letters, and he didn't want anyone to pity  
  
him. Those letters might tell him to open up, to keep going with life, he didn't want to though, he  
  
wanted Sirius.   
  
Ever since he found out about the prophecy he didn't feel like everyone else, who cared if he ignored  
  
his friend's letters... in the end would it matter? He was going to die, what did it matter? He couldn't  
  
defeat Voldemort, and he might as well die now. No... he couldn't think like that, he told himself.  
  
But if he did, would he be with Sirius and his parents? No... stop, and he hit his head with one of his  
  
hands trying to get the thoughts out of his mind.  
  
He sat back down on the bed in a defeated way. He wanted Remus to come back, he was probably  
  
the only one who understood how he was feeling, but then he also wanted to be left alone. He  
  
wanted to talk, but then didn't. He didn't want anyone to see him so vulnerable, so weak.   
  
**  
  
"Dumbledore, he sits in his room all day thinking about Sirius. He needs to get out of there," Remus  
  
was now sitting in Dumbledore's office. They had been talking for a good twenty minutes now,  
  
Remus had to get him out of there. "Listen sir, it's not good for him to sit around all day, thinking  
  
about Sirius and what his life should be like. He shouldn't be sitting around feeling bad about what  
  
happened or blaming himself, you know he's blaming himself. He needs someone around him,  
  
someone who cares, who can help him keep going." Remus stopped and got up angrily.   
  
Dumbledore stole a glance at him and smiled.  
  
"I won't let him go through what I did." He said quietly, as though to himself.  
  
"What was that last thing you said?" asked Dumbledore.  
  
"You know what I just said," Remus told him. For twelve years he isolated himself from everyone,  
  
he sat in his house and mourned for Lily, James, and Peter. He sat hours cursing Sirius. When the  
  
sun went down, he pitied his life. How many times had Dumbledore tried to contact him, to bring  
  
him back into the world? How many times had Dumbledore tried to get him to talk?  
  
Remus went back to the chair and sat down.  
  
"Where would you like him to go?" Dumbledore asked. "Molly and Arthur would be glad to take  
  
him in."  
  
Remus shook his head, "No they pity him. He wouldn't be happy there, the children would try and  
  
get him to talk."  
  
"Where then?" asked Dumbledore.  
  
"Let him come to my house. No one knows it's there, not even Wormtail. There are protections, but  
  
more can be put up. It's not connected to the Floo Network, and I didn't take down Lily's creation  
  
so no owls can come in."  
  
Dumbledore chuckled, "Where did find that?"  
  
"In a box of stuff of theirs, she wrote down how to do it, she never tried it herself though." Remus  
  
smiled a little, "No owl can make it past that."  
  
"Who could?"  
  
"Well you can," Remus raised an eyebrow.  
  
"It also took me a few years to figure it out. She knew her charms." Dumbledore smiled at the  
  
thought of his old student.  
  
"Let me take him there, I'll help him," Remus said now with a hint of begging in his voice, "I'll get  
  
him talking to other people by September 1st. He doesn't talk to others, he doesn't respond, he  
  
doesn't eat. He doesn't do anything expect think of Sirius."  
  
"You get rather thin that way," Dumbledore said with a hint of joking in his voice.  
  
"I know, I know," Remus sent a small glare at the Headmaster. "It's in the past. I will not let  
  
someone I know make the small mistake."  
  
"When?" asked Dumbledore.  
  
"I told him if all went well two days," Remus told him.  
  
"Fine. I'll let Mr. Weasley, Miss Weasley and Ms. Granger know that Harry will not be accepting  
  
owls, and tell Harry I am sorry for that. They can see each other during the summer hopefully,  
  
something has to be done for his birthday."  
  
"I wouldn't worry about the owls," Remus got up and went over to the door. "He hasn't been  
  
opening them." Remus left with a nod. 


	3. Pictures of Old

Here is the next chapter. So sorry it took so long, I've been at hockey camp ALL week! Will be  
  
updating Brothers Til Death Do Us Part and this story as soon as I can. I'm going away for the  
  
weekend, hopefully will spent time writing... since I have nothing else to do! Please R/R, I don't  
  
own Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling does.   
  
  
  
Remus figured he would just show up at Privet Drive two days later. He didn't want to write to  
  
Harry fearing the owl would be intercepted. He spent the next two days preparing for Harry. He  
  
went shopping for food, he decorated the room that Harry would stay in and he cleaned the house.  
  
He had not lived there since Sirius had offered his parent's house to Dumbledore the year before.   
  
It was a long two days. Remus found himself thinking back to when James and Lily died and his  
  
life. He had gone from the fun, loving, caring Marauder with four of the best people in the world to  
  
an angry, bitter, depressed man alone in the world. He sat around all day hating himself and  
  
everyone in the world. He moped around all day or sat in one chair while lift when on in the world.  
  
While Harry was in danger he pitied his life and didn't care about anyone else.   
  
But now he knew how Sirius felt, he was getting obsessed with James' son, he wanted to protect  
  
Harry from everything in the world. But he also knew that Harry was no little kid, not a boy  
  
anymore and he would not treat him like that.   
  
Two days later he apparated to the dining room of Arabella's house. She was in the other room  
  
having a cup of tea. He yelled to her and she came in muttering, "Must be nice to just appear." She  
  
looked at him and put her cup of tea down, "I suppose you are here for Harry?"  
  
"Yes," Remus nodded. "I'd better go, the sooner I get there, the sooner he gets out of hell."  
  
"I haven't seen him around too much this summer," Arabella commented. "A few days ago he was  
  
weeding the garden but other than that..."  
  
"Oh I know where he has been," Remus sighed. "Good day Arabella."  
  
He walked quickly out and practically ran to Privet Drive. He felt a pang of guilt, Sirius had always  
  
dreamed of getting Harry out of Privet Drive to come and live with him. But he couldn't, and now  
  
Remus was. He looked up to the sky, was Sirius looking down at him feeling jealous? He didn't  
  
know, maybe he would be happy that Harry was getting out. He walked up 4 Privet Drive's  
  
driveway and rang the doorbell when he got to the door. He waited anxiously and Aunt Petunia  
  
opened the door.   
  
"Ah Petunia," Remus smiled, "I didn't properly say hello last time I saw you."  
  
"Who are you?" she asked but then her eyes wandered up and down him and she saw his shabby  
  
robes. Fearing the neighbors would see she beckoned him in. She stared at him and then gasped,  
  
"You went around with the murderer."  
  
Remus grimaced, Sirius. "I'm here to get Harry." He changed the subject. "I'm taking him for the  
  
rest of the summer."  
  
"What happened to those red haired freaks?" Aunt Petunia asked.  
  
"Harry is better off with me this summer," Remus sighed. "Harry is in his room?"  
  
"Of course, the lazy boy," said Aunt Petunia.  
  
Remus chose to ignore this too. He went upstairs at a run and opened Harry's door to find him at the  
  
desk drumming his fingers against the desk. "Harry!" He said when he entered. "I'm here to take  
  
you back to my house."  
  
"Sirius offered me a place to stay when he was free," Harry spoke in a hollow voice. His back was  
  
to Remus. "It was the happiest half an hour of my life, I thought I would be leaving the Dursleys for  
  
good."  
  
"There was much he had left to do," Remus walked over to Harry who was still turned away from  
  
him. He put a hand on his shoulder. "Too much." He sighed again.  
  
Harry turned in the chair. His eyes were red and Remus knew at once he had been crying again,  
  
"Why did he have to die?"  
  
Remus sighed deeply, he had been doing that a lot recently. He had asked the same question to  
  
himself many times. He had also thought he had answered it the last time he was here. Harry  
  
probably was still lost or he hadn't been satisfied with the answer. He thought for a moment trying to  
  
think of a better one. "I don't know. I do know he was always an able fighter, and he always thought  
  
himself invincible. We all did, we were young and foolish. But maybe he had suffered enough in  
  
life that it was time for the suffering to end. He never had a good life, but his happiest times were  
  
when we were at school and when he had you in his arms when you a baby. He didn't have a good  
  
childhood, his parents, well you've met his mother, I don't need to say more on that topic. He's with  
  
your parents now, he's probably much happier. He loved you of course but he couldn't show his  
  
love for you completely, and that hurt him more than his time spent in Azkaban. He's back with  
  
James, his brother. There's no more running, no more hiding, no more not being in control and no  
  
more not being able to help the ones he loved. This past year was hell for him, not only was he in the  
  
house he hated more than anything, he couldn't be with you. He was too energetic to be locked up  
  
like that." He stopped and thought for a moment.  
  
"When James was alive, and we would go on attacks, Sirius was always the first one ready. He  
  
wanted to make a difference in the world, he wanted to prove to so many people that he wasn't his  
  
parents. When he got sent to Azkaban, everything he had worked for was gone. He was labeled a  
  
Death Eater, and among the people he despised most in life."  
  
Harry looked up at him, his eyes shining a little bit as he listened to things about his godfather.   
  
"Come on Harry, lets go home. We can talk about Sirius more there." Remus motioned to him.  
  
Harry threw a few things in his trunk and Remus took out a Portkey that Dumbledore had provided.  
  
He held it out to Harry and with a hand on his trunk they were gone.   
  
They appeared in the living room of a wooden house. There were chairs surrounding a fireplace and  
  
pictures lined the walls. They were all of the Marauders in different stages of their lives.   
  
"Welcome home," Remus said. "Come on, I'll show you to your room."  
  
Harry let himself be led up the stairs and into the first bedroom on the right. Remus had decorated it  
  
in Gryffindor colors and put a few pictures of the Marauders in it. The bed was a 4-poster bed, much  
  
like his one at Hogwarts.   
  
"I hope you like it," he said.  
  
Harry nodded. Remus said a few words and Harry's trunk came into the room and opened itself up.  
  
"While we were at Privet Drive I noticed that you didn't open the box I gave you. Part of the healing  
  
process is accepting their death and moving on. You have not accepted his death, and looking  
  
through the box will help. It's basically a good bye, something final. Let's have a look."  
  
Remus opened the box. He pulled out a letter and handed it to Harry. He saw the familiar scrawl at  
  
once and took it with trembling hands.  
  
Moony,  
  
So I'm dead if you are reading this. I guess I wasn't as invincible as I thought. Watch out for  
  
Harry won't you? I'm sure this will be quite and experience for him, three parent figures dead... not  
  
something a child should experience unless you had parents like mine. Anyway, I heard what you  
  
did last time, when James died, and if you isolate yourself from the world I'll come back somehow  
  
and beat you senseless. I'm with Prongs and Lily now, how bad can things be? Don't do anything  
  
stupid so you can join me, Prong's jokes probably haven't improved. Keep an eye on Harry, and  
  
make sure he stops calling you "Professor" what a joke, you a Professor. Prongs and I will be having  
  
a few laughs about that one, probably as you read this. Make sure Harry's okay. You get all the  
  
money and junk in my vault, and if you are a true friend, burn my parent's house. Watch Harry for  
  
me, Moony. I love you like a brother, you and Prongs were my true family.   
  
  
  
Padfoot  
  
Harry wiped his eyes. He was dead, he wasn't invincible... Padfoot was dead. It was final. He had  
  
known it since he saw him fall through the veil but this hit him hard, it was like Remus said, a good  
  
bye.   
  
"Here look," Remus picked up a few pictures. The pictures showed four boys in each stage of their  
  
life.  
  
One picture featured Remus, Sirius and James with their broomsticks and in their Quidditch robes.  
  
Peter, the smallest boy just stood in his school robes looking up at the three taller boys. Another had  
  
Sirius and James stood back to back grinning. The next one had his father straightening his Headboy  
  
badge and Sirius making fun of him. There were wedding pictures, and then pictures with him as a  
  
baby. One of the pictures he was being kissed by his parents, and then held proudly by his godfather.  
  
The last picture he was being held by Remus whose expression equaled his godfathers'. Harry  
  
looked at Remus and then stared back at the picture.  
  
"What? Did you think your godfather was the only one who could smile like that when he held  
  
you?" Remus smiled.  
  
"No of course not, it's just... I've never seen... a picture like this," Harry admitted.  
  
"We all loved you Harry, and all of us spent as much time with you as we could," said Remus. "It  
  
use to drive Lily crazy because she would put you down for a nap and we would sneak in your room  
  
and play with you. She would come in because she would hear you laughing and yell at us for  
  
disturbing you." He laughed remembering. Harry smiled.   
  
They spent the rest of the evening looking through the box and Remus told Harry stories of their  
  
times. 


	4. Nightmares

So here is a new chapter. I hope you are enjoying it. I just want to comment on Harry's behavior, I was reading what I had written and I hope no one thinks I'm going overboard with his behavior. When I finished reading OoP, I thought Harry would act one of two ways, one of them being so determined to beat Voldemort that he would do anything and two like this, lost and confused without Sirius. Sirius meant so much to him that I would expect him to be not very happy. So I hope you are enjoying the story, please R/R. I don't own Harry Potter, J. K. Rowling does.   
  
*****  
  
It was late, a new day had come but Remus had just fallen asleep that night after staying up reading for a few hours. He was a light sleeper, years of war had done that to him, he had to be able to hear voices or his name being called by James or Sirius when Death Eaters attacked and they were called. He heard a knock on the door and it opened slowly. Remus sat up in bed and motioned for Harry to come in. Remus was shocked at his appearance and he sat up even more. Harry was shaking, he moved slowly into the room and for a moment Remus wondered if he was sleep walking.  
  
Remus lit his wand and he was able to see Harry's pale face and his eyes which was moving fast and darting all around the room. Sweat was running down his face and he walked with uneasy steps. He had just woken up from a nightmare.  
  
"Harry what's wrong?" Remus knew what had happened but he asked anyway. He motioned Harry to come and sit on the bed. He did so slowly, as though the nightmare was still running through his mind and he wasn't sure what was real or not.  
  
"I'm... I'm fine," he stumbled out the words.  
  
"What was the nightmare about?" Remus asked gently.   
  
Harry didn't answer his question. He instead asked his own, "What would the world be like if Voldemort won?"  
  
Remus frown, what nightmare would make Harry think of things like that? He had thought of it often, what would the world be like if they lost. He knew of course, he wouldn't be alive, he would die fighting, the way the Marauders all knew they would go when they were old, or so they thought. "I'd imagine Hogwarts would be gone and casualties would be high."  
  
"The world would be ruled by pure bloods but they would die if they didn't marry Muggles. After awhile the wizarding world would be no more," Harry said in a hollow voice.  
  
"I suppose yes," said Remus. "Harry what did you dream about?"  
  
He didn't answer again. Instead Remus noticed a tear come down his eye, "I can't do this Remus! I can't do this without Sirius! I can't do this without my parents! I can't defeat HIM! He'll take over and everyone will blame me! So many casualties because I was too weak!" He yelled.   
  
Remus was still confused, "It isn't just up to you to defeat Voldemort." He tried to comfort him.  
  
"The prophecy! It's me or him! I'll either be the murderer or the dead man! I'm too weak, he'll take over, everyone will blame me, I'll have more than two deaths on my hands!" Harry had tears coming down his face. He didn't try and hold them back.  
  
"As far as I'm concerned Harry, you don't have any deaths on your hands. But this prophecy, everyone had heard of it but the details of it were never released to us. Lily and James knew, it was part of the reason they went into hiding. Harry listen to me, you will never be alone, I will be there for you, Ron and Hermione will be there for you. Dumbledore will never leave you, and the Order. Your parents and Sirius will forever be with you, you just can't see them. At this second they are looking down t us, I swear I feel their presence in this house. Sometimes even a slap in the back of the head when I do something stupid. You are never alone Harry... never."  
  
"I saw Voldemort taking over, everyone blamed me for their deaths. Sirius blamed me!"  
  
Remus sighed, "Harry lay down next to me." He waited until Harry did so very slowly. "Sleep here tonight and remember that Sirius would never blame you. He went into that fight thinking only of you, and your safety, just like you did to him. You both loved each other, and you are both as stubborn." Remus laughed. "I know if Sirius didn't go and something had happened to you, I would never hear the end of it, and I would tell him that Harry doesn't blame you, but would he listen? No one will ever blame you for their deaths, you have done your share of saving people. Just sleep, relax now Harry, you deserve some sleep."  
  
Not long after Remus heard Harry's calming breathe, and he knew he had fallen asleep, Remus closed his eyes. He couldn't sleep though, all his thoughts were about the boy sleeping next to him, why couldn't he sleep peacefully? If there was one person in this whole world who deserved some peace it was Harry. Remus opened an eye and looked at him, he smiled, James and Lily had such big plans for him. James was going to teach him how to fly and play Quidditch. Lily was going to introduce him to books and Muggles. But then he thought, Harry had done a good job of raising himself, he was excellent at Quidditch, he knew all about Muggles, his grades weren't bad and he was a good, decent kid. He just wished Lily and James could have had a more active role in their son's childhood. They got robbed of raising a wonderful child.   
  
The next morning when Remus woke up Harry was gone. He got up and heard the shower running. He decided to go downstairs and start breakfast. Harry had been here only a day and had not eaten anything. Molly Weasley would have his head if she knew. Harry as always was too skinny, he'd have to fatten him up while he was here. Remus had been the best cook out of the Marauders, if he cooked like Sirius he would have died of food poisoning years ago.  
  
Quickly he made bacon and eggs and put them on the table for Harry for when he came down. He was making his own breakfast when Harry came down, sat down heavily in the chair and yawned.  
  
"Did you have any more nightmares?" Remus asked looking over his shoulder to see Harry.  
  
Harry shook his head.  
  
"I'm glad you came to me," Remus said pouring him milk and sitting down with his own breakfast. "You can talk to me about anything, you know."  
  
Harry nodded.  
  
Remus laughed, "Do you just talk at night when you are too tired to care what I will think? Or are you like Sirius and James and don't bother talking until noon when you are awake enough to speak so everyone can understand you?"  
  
Harry didn't respond. He started eating, but before he finished half his breakfast he pushed his plate away.   
  
"Harry you didn't eat half your breakfast," Remus looked at him. "Come now, eat some more or everyone will think I'm starving you."  
  
Harry muttered something like, "not hungry."  
  
"You're 15, you have to be hungry," Remus protested. "You are far too skinny, have a few more bites."  
  
"I'm not hungry!" Harry yelled and got up and left.  
  
Remus sighed, "I'm trying Padfoot." He said out loud and his eyes drifted up towards the ceiling.  
  
It was the middle of July, and Remus was busy planning for Harry's birthday. Harry after the first day fell back into a shell and wouldn't speak to Remus. Remus tried to talk to him every day but Harry never answered. Harry to please Remus had started to eat more but he wouldn't speak.   
  
Remus had a feeling that Harry had not been truthful when he asked about anymore nightmares and they had been bothering more than ever. He had thought he was making progress which him but something had happened, something he was reluctant to share.  
  
One night Remus went to check on Harry before he went to bed. He found Harry on the bed moaning in his sleep and moving around. He couldn't understand what he was saying though he could make out the word, "Sirius."  
  
He made his way to his bed, people said that everyone had a day to die and when someone died it was their turn to go but he had a feeling that Sirius Black's time to die had come a few years too early. He could a man who survived Azkaban for 12 years be killed? Wasn't Azkaban suppose to kill you? It didn't make sense to him. 


	5. The Last Marauder

Hello, here is another chapter. It is short, I know. I was going to bed last night but when I couldn't sleep I grabbed my notebook and wrote this. Its in Remus' point of view, and its his thoughts to everything going on. I hope you like it, I will update soon. I will also update my other fic, Brothers Til Death Do Us Part but I'm still writing the chapter, something big is going to happen! So please R/R. I don't own any of the characters, they belong to J.K. Rowling.   
  
***  
  
Survival that's what life was. Survival of the fittest, the strong ones live, the weak ones die; that's what war was about. So why was he still alive and Sirius dead? Sirius was a step up in everything, he had better reflexes, he knew more curses and their counter curses, he had more power, but it was Remus who was still alive. Whoever thought of the Survival of the fittest didn't take into account the Marauders, if the man was right he and Peter should be dead and James and Sirius ruling the earth. They had been the best, the toughest, and the fittest.  
  
It had been a blow to him when Sirius died, he had wanted to go after him just like Harry. He wanted to call his name, weep for his loss and mourn for the rest of his life alone. He couldn't though, he had to watch Harry. He had to be strong for Harry when he really wanted to cry along with him. He had to protect and watch Harry, he couldn't hide like he did last time. He had to face the facts, move on with life and be strong. He had a duty as a Marauder to watch James' son, he had to make sure he was fine. He had to be strong like James and Sirius, he couldn't be himself.   
  
  
  
Why did Sirius die? Who decided these things? He needed Sirius in his life, he wanted his brother back. That's what they were... brothers, sworn to protect each other until death, to guide and protect their families. They promised each other they would be true and strong, and Remus would be damned if he let them down again. It was all so difficult to be strong. James and Sirius had never shown weakness, they were the imagine of a what true Gryffindor should be; strong, brave, loyal and trustworthy. He felt more like a Hufflepuff, he wanted to be strong, but where did they get the strength to be so strong?  
  
He remembered very clearly when they had all made the pact, the pact to never turn to Voldemort, to stay strong, to be brothers until death, it was when they were all young and thought they couldn't be killed.  
  
"Did you see in the paper? Gerrard, that boy from our year turned his friends over to Voldemort," James Potter, 18 years old at the time threw down the paper. "Turned right against them."  
  
"Its happening all the time, wizards forgetting friendships," Sirius Black, also 18 shook his head, "saving their own skins and not even thinking about their friends."  
  
James stood up, "We need to make a pact, I want your word on this." He looked around the room, first at Sirius, then Remus and finally Peter. His eyes stayed on Peter for a moment and then he continued talking. "No matter what, no matter what you have to do... its brothers first. That's what we are, brothers. On our words as Marauders, we will never betray each other to Voldemort, spy on each other for the other side and until death we will protect each other."  
  
Sirius stood up with James, "Brothers til Death. We will protect each other until we die."  
  
Remus stood up next to them, "Brothers til Death."  
  
Peter stood slowly, "Brothers til Death."  
  
Two years after that he became the only Marauder. Where did that pact go? Why didn't Sirius think rationally for once? Why did he have to go after Peter? But he knew the answer to that, he promised to protect James, and if you hurt James, you hurt him. He was always the strongest, Azkaban had proved that. He survived 12 years in Azkaban, and some died after only a few months. He and Sirius had both been prisoners in those 12 years, and both prisoners of their minds. He came out strong though, the first one ever to escape from Azkaban on his own, that was Sirius Black for you. He could have escaped at any time but he only did so when he knew a fellow Marauder or Marauder son was in trouble. Why hadn't Sirius come out to help him? He needed Sirius all those years, but then you would have cursed him in a million small pieces, a small voice in his head said. Sirius had escaped to watch his godson, he risked everything for Harry because of that pact they made, "protect each other until death." He did that, he protected Harry until his final seconds. He was up in heaven watching over him now. He was up with Lily and James joking about the old times and making fun of him. He knew it. What else would a dead Marauder do?   
  
Why did he have to die though? He had just entered his life again, he was just getting use to having a shoulder to lean on. He needed someone to confine in, someone he could speak to about the good old times, he needed Sirius. It had been a good year, Moony and Padfoot came out to play during the full moons, for the first time in 12 years he hadn't minded it. Why was he gone? Did Sirius know he needed him? That Harry needed him? Why am I the only one left? Why couldn't he have gone with Sirius? What was his purpose on earth? Hadn't he suffered enough? Why couldn't James be alive and allowed to be there and watch his son grow into a man? Why did that responsibility fall to him? He didn't want it! He loved Harry yes, of course he did, but why did James and Lily have to be robbed of that?  
  
Why did some people have to suffer so much in one life? Why did the Marauders have enough problems for all of Hogwarts? He was a werewolf, his father died when he was young, his mother blamed him for his death, he was poor and lived most of his life alone. Sirius' family hated him, his brother was a Death Eater, he was marked a traitor, sent to Azkaban, and helpless in doing the one thing he wanted to, raise his godson. James' family were all killed before he graduated Hogwarts, he had expectations put on him that Merlin couldn't have done, forced to give up his dreams, always in the spotlight, and then died 100 years too early. Peter... blinded by power, corrupted by greed. It pained him to think about Peter, what happened to be sweet and quiet boy? It was Peter, Peter was half the reason things happened the way they did, and for what reason? It didn't make sense, none of it did.   
  
Then there was Harry, an almost 16 year old boy who had faced things, no one else would have survived. Burdened with so much, at such a young age. What was fair in his life? Three parent figures dead, raised by Muggles who hated him, the world had turned against him, and all of his dreams are just that... dreams. Life wasn't fair. Harry deserved so much more. He deserved to know his parents, two of the greatest people who ever lived. That stupid prophecy, why did it have to be Harry? Why not someone else, why not someone older, more ready? He knew he would help Harry face the future and hopefully Harry would come to trust him as he had trusted Sirius, and all he could pray for was the strength to do so. Sirius and Harry... what an unique relationship, in three hours Harry went from almost killing him, to saving his life. Why couldn't Sirius be the one to hold his hand and be his strength through the troubles he would face? Why him? What was so special about him? Life sucked, nothing in it makes sense!  
  
He sighed and rolled over, he needed to sleep. Taking care of Harry was hard work. The burdens were getting too much, Sirius' death, the prophecy, and he felt isolated from everyone else. He felt alone, he felt different from everyone. Remus had to show him he wasn't alone, but he had the same stubbornness that James had. Damn that Potter trait. 


	6. Harry's Birthday

Two weeks went by with no improvement. Remus was losing sleep over the whole thing. He had been so sure he could have helped Harry, and he was so sure that by his birthday everything would be fine again. Harry was now spending all the time in his room. Remus did everything he could to get him out of there, he suggested walks in the forest next to the house, Quidditch, wizard's chess, everything. Nothing was working though, he would just sit in his room moping around, probably thinking of Sirius. 

Maybe he needed to see his friends, maybe seeing them would help. They had always been a source of strength for him. Harry might talk to them, or Mr. Weasley. He looked forward to his birthday, when they would be coming over. He had planned a day of fun for Harry, he knew this would be the first birthday party he had ever had.

Remus woke suddenly and looked at the clock, it was 7am. He got up, today was Harry's birthday, and he was excited for the party. He hoped that Harry would enjoy his birthday, he had heard from Ron that when he first met Harry never expected anything for his birthday. It pained him to think of that, but now it was time to make up for all the lost birthdays. He quickly showered and dressed before knocking on Harry's door. He opened it when he heard no response, maybe he hadn't heard the knock and was still asleep. It was a clean room, Harry kept his trunk by the end of his bed, and the bed was made. Remus frown, was Harry downstairs and all ready awake? Remus was usually the first one up. He went downstairs and into the kitchen. No Harry. He went into the living room, but Harry wasn't there either. Remus called Harry's name a few times, but there was no reply. 

It was 8am now and Harry was up, but Remus couldn't find him anywhere. Remus stood in the kitchen thinking… did he runaway? Was he hiding from him? But then a thought came to him; he raced back upstairs and looked through Harry's trunk. The Invisibility Cloak and his Firebolt were gone. Harry was gone. But how? He had never told Harry but all the windows and doors had to be opened by magic. They were locked at all times, he had feared that Harry might run away so he took that precaution. How did he get out? He had to go see Dumbledore.

As another precaution, Dumbledore had given Remus two portkeys, one to Hogwarts and the other to the Burrow. Remus now activated the Portkey to Hogwarts and he was gone. 

Dumbledore was sitting at his desk reading the Daily Prophet; Remus hadn't expected him to be up. He looked up surprised to see Remus in his office.

"He's gone," Remus said right away.

"Gone?"

"He's not in the house," Remus explained. "I woke up this morning and he was gone."

"Have you checked the Burrow?" Dumbledore asked getting up.

"No I wanted to talk to you first," Remus told him. "I have no idea where he could be. He took James' cloak and his broom."

"His Firebolt is over there. It was taken from him last year and he never got it back."

Remus looked at the broom standing upright in the corner. He didn't have his broom, so he couldn't be far. He sighed this was good news. But how long had he been gone? When did he leave? Why did he leave?

"I'll go to the Burrow, he has to be on the grounds if he doesn't have his broom. I don't have a broom in the house for him to take," Remus sighed.

"Go check with them, I'll contact Ms. Granger and see if she knows anything," said Dumbledore.

Remus nodded and he went to the Burrow. He apparted in their kitchen and found himself with 6 wands pointed at his chest. He took a step back.

"Oh hello Remus," Mr. Weasley put his wand away. "You surprised us. We didn't expect to see you for a few more hours."

"Have you seen or heard from Harry?" Remus asked.

Ron spoke up at once, "No."

"He's gone," Remus sighed. "I… he isn't in the house. I woke up and he was gone."

"You lost Harry?" Mrs. Weasley asked. She had been very worried about Harry since Sirius's death. She had always thought that Sirius was hotheaded and rash, and not the right godfather for him, but she knew that Harry loved Sirius as he would his father. She had tried countless times to get Harry to come to the Burrow, but Dumbledore kept saying no and then Remus asks once and he goes off there without a word to them. She was sure that Harry would have been happier here, with the twins and Ron. 

"He couldn't have gone too far," Remus looked around. "I was hoping, to cover more ground if I could ask you to help me look for him."

"YOU LOST HARRY?" Mrs. Weasley repeated now yelling.

"Molly." Mr. Weasley warned. 

"How could you lose him? YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO BE WATCHING HIM!"

"I was!" Remus was shocked at her behavior.

"Well you didn't do a very good job! I told Dumbledore that Harry should have come here. He would have at least been looked after!"

"Molly."

"I know how to look after Harry! I took precautions! He was fine!"

"Well I guess he wasn't! Irresponsible just like Sirius!"

"YOU LEAVE SIRIUS OUT OF THIS!" Remus roared. 

"You think you know what is best for him, just because you knew James!"

"James was my brother! I have every right to look after him! James would have trusted me with him!" Remus could feel the wolf in him rising. 

"Then why weren't you there for him when his parents died? Where were you when he needed you?" Mrs. Weasley asked.

"How dare you!" Remus was now shaking with anger.

"We were there when Harry needed us! We showed him how to get on the Platform, and we gave him a place to stay during the summer! Where we you?"

Remus' mouth opened, he was staring at her. How dare she say these things! 

"You think you can just walk in his life and control it."

"He's not your son!" Remus yelled. He remembered Sirius saying the same thing. "Can you honestly tell Harry you know what its like to lose a parent figure, to lose someone you thought you couldn't live without?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Well I can! I lost everything that Halloween night! Have you ever lost three brothers all in one night? I'm sorry if I wasn't strong enough to keep going, to put it all past me and look after a 1-year-old baby, who looked exactly, like his father and reminded me of him. I'm sorry every time I thought about Harry, I thought of my own father, who died for me, he jumped in front of a silver bullet when I was 8 years old! Oh no though, you would have been strong enough to put it all behind you and move on with your life!" He stopped talking. 

He took a deep breath. "The reason Harry is with me is he wouldn't be happy here. He loves you all but he wanted to be left alone this summer. He is confused about life, about death, he lost the most important person in his life, and he is not ready to face you! Has Ron not told you that Harry has not opened one letter this whole summer? He needs someone who understands him and doesn't pity him! You all pity him! I don't, I know what he needs at this moment!" He stopped talking again. With another sigh, he looked around at Mr. Weasley, the twins and Ron, "I have better things to do, Harry is still out there somewhere."

The twins stepped forward; "We are going with you."

"And me," Ron stepped forward.

"I'll come," Mr. Weasley didn't look at his wife.

Remus held out the Portkey to them, and they all touched it. 

Back in the kitchen Mr. Weasley spoke to Remus at once, "I'm sorry for that. You know Molly, Harry is another son to her, and she thinks that he should be around the children to help him."

Remus sighed, "I know, I know. I just lost it when she mentioned Sirius and James." He looked around, "No apologies are needed, I know it's a trying time. You know we use to say that the only person who can understand a Marauder is another Marauder. We all had hard lives… especially Harry."

"Well why don't we look for Harry," Mr. Weasley clapped his hands together. "You said that you took precautions, what were they?"

Remus looked around; "Er, the windows and doors leading out have to be opened with magic. Harry didn't use magic, he can't, he's still underage."

"When has that stopped Harry?" asked Ron.

Remus pulled a long, thin piece of wood out of his pocket. Everyone recognized it at once as Harry's wand; "I took this from him when he came, just incase. So unless he can do wandless magic, he didn't get out that way."

"He doesn't have his wand?" Mr. Weasley now looked worried. "Oh dear."

"Another reason he has to be found at once," Remus shrugged. Remus looked around, he noticed the twins had stayed quiet and were giving each other looks and nudging each other forward. Remus knew this wasn't a good thing. He cleared his throat and they both looked at him, "What do you know?"

"Er, well, we know how Harry got out," Fred said looking around. 


	7. The Search

Hey, sorry for the delay of the chapter! School gets in the way of my fanfiction so much! This story is only going to be like 3 or 4 more chapters, so I will try and get it typed and out to you as soon as I can! I have a new Sirius, James story that I'm working on, but I won't start posting that until I have most of it written and typed! I don't own Harry Potter, J.K.Rowling does! Thank you for the reviews!

**

"Harry knows a little trick," George continued.

  
"We didn't teach it to him so he could escape from the house," Fred said quickly. "But for when he was at the Dursleys, they use to lock him up."

"We swear."

"We would never teach him a thing to put him in danger," Fred looked around, his eyes stopped at Remus.

"What does Harry know?" Remus asked thinking that whatever the twins taught him was not a good thing.

"He knows how to pick locks," George said quietly. "The Muggle way."

  
Remus put a hand to his head. He groaned. "I didn't even think of that."

"Well that's not bad is it?" Mr. Weasley asked. "They still won't open."

"Well."

"Er, you see, we gave Harry a secret gift, we invented magical picks, to unlock doors locked with magic," George looked around nervously.

There was another round of groans from the two adults. 

"We're sorry, but the Dursleys, they locked him up, he had to know," Fred defended them. "And he gets himself into such tight situations, he has to have all the tools he needs."

"I understand boys," he sighed. "Let's go search for Harry then, I think in the forest. He wouldn't have gone far, not without his wand."

Ron went with Remus, leaving the twins with Mr. Weasley. When they got to the forest, they went in their separate directions. Ron and Remus were silent at first. Remus was looking around; he was sure that Harry would cover himself with the cloak, and hoped that he might be careless and not cover himself completely.

"Remus, how was Harry doing? He was distant at the end of last year," Ron asked him as they walked along. It was now Harry's birthday and he hadn't talked to him or seen him since the train ride. He like Hermione and the Order was worried about Harry, so much had happened to him. 

"Well he took Sirius' death hard but he was doing better. When he first came to the house, I was able to get him to eat and open up to me a little bit, but suddenly he reversed back to what he was at the beginning of the summer. Something must have happened, he must have had a dream that upset him."

"His problem is he doesn't open up to us," Ron sighed. "He doesn't trust anyone really, and then once he thinks one of us could be in trouble…" Ron let that statement fall.

Remus nodded, "You must remember though Ron, at the Dursleys, they taught him never to reveal pain or weakness. It hurts me to think of the life he had."

"He takes the whole saving thing a little too far," Ron shrugged.

"He has lost so much already, he just wants to keep everyone close to him safe," Remus sighed. "Oh Harry, why do you need to put all the responsibility on yourself?" He said out loud. 

They were silent again as they walked. Remus' mind was troubled, what if something happened to Harry, what if someone found him other than him or the Weasleys? Why did he leave… what made him think he couldn't talk to him? Had he failed him again?

"Remus?" Ron asked.

"Yes?" Remus looked at Ron.

"Will Harry ever be all right after losing Sirius?"

Remus sighed, "In such a short time, they learned to trust and love each other. I'm a connection to his parents, as Sirius was, but Sirius was the first person who was able to offer Harry a home, away from the Dursleys. He was James' best friend, Harry learned to trust Sirius completely… it will take time Ron, but with the help of his friends he might."

"It seems so strange, they didn't even know each other that well."

"No one fully knew Sirius Black, I was still in awe over some things in his life, he was tough Ron. Sirius kept a lot from Harry, but that's not really the point. Its hard for you Ron to understand their connection, you grew up in a loving family with so many siblings, but Harry, he's been on his own since he was 1 years old. Losing Sirius was like losing his parents all over again, but this time he actually knew them. He has no memory of Lily and James, he was too young of course, and Sirius gave him that connection."

"Why does everything happen to Harry?"

"I wish I knew Ron, I wish I knew," Remus sighed. Why did everything happen to Harry?

The sun was now high in the sky. Remus reckoned the hour was about 1pm, time for the birthday party to start. He hoped Dumbledore had contacted all those invited and told them it was postponed. What a day for you to leave Harry… on your birthday! Did he ever remember it was his birthday? A pang of guilt hit him; it made him sad to think he forgot his birthday sometimes. Where are you Harry? Remus thought. 

They kept walking. Remus wondered if the others had found him. No, they would contact him if they did. He sighed and kept walking. They walked for another few hours. Both Ron and Remus were getting tired but the thought of Harry out alone in the forest possibly hurt kept them walking.

"Ron look," Remus stopped. He saw something. 

Ron looked around, "What?"

Remus started to run though without another word. He ran toward a tree, he had seen something at the bottom of the trunk.

"Its Harry," Remus called back to Ron. He fell to his knees in front of the tree. He had seen a part of a shoe, he was sure of it. If Remus hadn't known that Harry had the Invisibility Cloak, he would have thought the object was just a forgotten shoe, but he knew better. He was a Marauder though, and he knew when an Invisibility Cloak was being used. Remus touched the shoe, and then tried to find the Cloak. He did so feeling his stomach in his throat; what if Harry was dead or hurt? He pulled the Cloak off. 

"I just thought that was junk," Ron came over.

"I'm not a Marauder for nothing," Remus looked up at him and gave him a childish grin. They both looked down at Harry. "He doesn't look hurt." He said inspecting the sleeping Harry.

Remus got up and picked up the sleepy newly 16-year-old boy. "I really have to get some food in this boy." He sighed, Harry was light in his arms.

"Mum will do that for you," Ron laughed. He stopped remembering his mother's reaction that morning. "Sorry."

"It's fine Ron," Remus sighed. He coughed, "Let me contact your father. Here, Ron, touch my ring." He held out his right hand to Ron. With Harry in his arms, he couldn't do it himself. Ron touched it.

"Arthur Weasley." He waited, and then they both heard Mr. Weasley's voice coming from the ring. "Arthur, we have him!" Remus said to the ring.

"You do? Good, we were getting worried! How is he?"

"He's still sleeping, I don't think he's hurt. He didn't have the Cloak covering one of his shoes, that is how we found him!"

"Meet you back at the house?" Mr. Weasley's voice asked.

"Yes," Remus looked at Ron and he tapped the ring again. Ron looked at him, "Yes that is one of the ways the Order contacts each other. We have more ways of communicating with each other than fireplaces."

Ron nodded.

"Don't tell anyone," Remus warned in a teacher like voice.

"I won't," Ron promised.

Remus shifted Harry in his arms and took out the Portkey. He held it out to Ron and they both touched it, and they were both gone.


	8. Not Hating Enough

Hey! Here is the next chapter; sorry it took a few days! I hope you enjoy it! Um at the end, there might be a hint of slash, but its not! It is a nice, fatherly somewhat way of showing love. No slash! Just they care for each other, like a father and son would. Got it. I don't do slash. Anyway, I don't own Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling does. Thank you for all the kind reviews!!!!

**

Remus went up to Harry's room. He had thought he heard a banging noise coming from upstairs and was growing concerned. He left the Weasley's downstairs, telling them that Harry didn't know they were here, and it would be a shock to him. 

Upstairs the banging noise was coming from Harry's room. He now could Harry's voice yelling at the top of his lungs, "LET ME OUT! I NEED TO BE LET OUT!" Remus took out his wand and opened the door magically. He braced himself as Harry ran out of the room and straight into him. Remus though with his werewolf strength did not intend to let Harry go.

"Calm down… calm down Harry." He spoke calmly in Harry's ear.

"Let me go!" Harry begged trying to free himself from Remus' grip. 

"No Harry."

"You must let me go!" Harry yelled.

Remus was sure that the Weasleys could hear him from downstairs. Remus tried to quiet the struggling 16-year-old. "Harry, just calm down, everything is fine."

"No, its NOT!" Harry was tiring though. He stopped fighting suddenly, "Just let me go!" he begged.

Remus led Harry back into the room and to the bed. They both sat down. "Now what is so urgent that you have to leave?"  


"I don't have to tell you!" Harry exclaimed.

"No you don't," Remus agreed with him, "but I'm asking you to. Harry, you opened up to me once before, please open up to me again."

Harry got off the bed. Remus watched him carefully, his eyes followed him around the room, if he made any movement toward that door, Remus had his wand ready. He was not going to lose Harry again.

Harry was by the desk. Without a word or warning he picked up the chair and slammed it against the wall. One of the legs broke and fell to the ground. Harry hit the chair against the wall two more times, and the other legs of the chair joined the first one on the floor.

"I'M SICK OF LOSING PEOPLE!"

Remus raised one eyebrow but did not say anything. 

"SIRIUS! SIRIUS! WHY? I didn't mean to Sirius! I just wanted to HELP YOU!" With that, he slammed his fist against the wall and then fell down the wall tired and worn out. 

Remus was at his side in an instant. "Sh, its all right Harry. I could sit here all day and tell you reasons why he shouldn't have died, but it won't bring him back. He's up in heaven with Lily and James he's happy, he's free. I know you want him, that you need him, and I need him too." Remus stopped and thought. 

He continued, "Fate is a funny thing Harry; it always seems to take away the things we need most in life. You will see again though, not for many years though, he's waiting for you, with your parents. I promise you Harry. You can't give up hope Harry."

"I miss him, I want him back!" Harry started to cry in his hands. "I don't want to lose anyone else either. I don't want to lose you like I lost Sirius." His shoulders shook, his hands now gripped his hair and he cried into his knees, which were drawn up to his chest. 

"I'm not going anywhere Harry."

"Yes… yes you are. Everyone… everyone is!"

"No Harry."

Harry got up suddenly, the tears were still coming down his face, and Remus wasn't sure where he got the energy to get up. "How do you know that? You don't know everything!"

Remus got up too; "Harry, your friends and I would never leave you."

"Sirius didn't want to leave me either! He didn't have too much of a choice though! Voldemort will kill everyone close to me! I've seen it happen! What about Cedric, or my parents, or Sirius? How do you explain their deaths? They died because of ME!"

"You have been dreaming of our deaths?" Remus asked.

Harry's face paled, "I know I've been wrong before, I know the consequences, and that is why I'm not taking anymore chances! When I had this dream, I knew I had to get out. I won't endanger anyone else!"

"What happened Harry?"

Harry turned his back to Remus for several minutes. Remus didn't press the matter, he busied himself with looking at the chair, and it was lying crumbled on the floor. He looked back at Harry, he felt pity for his best friend's son, no one deserved the life had had experienced. 

"I was in this house, and Voldemort came. You were here, Sirius, the Weasleys, Hermione, Dumbledore, members of the Order, and my classmates. You all blamed me for killing you. The arch appeared, and Sirius fell through it again. He blamed me over and over for his death. Voldemort said they were all dead because you cared for me. I saw this dream over and over. I don't want to be responsible for any other lives, so I ran to protect you."

"First, I would never blame you for anything that happened to me, and neither would Sirius. He loved you Harry, and if something had happened at the Ministry and he had stayed home, he wouldn't be able to live with himself. He knew what he was doing, he knew the danger. He died protecting you, he died the way he wanted to."

"He didn't deserve to die!"

"No one deserves to die," Remus died.

"Bellatrix does," Harry said suddenly with his voice full of hate. "She and Voldemort."

Remus didn't say anything.

"I tried to Remus, I really tried, I wanted to so badly…" Harry choked the words out.

"You tried to kill her?" Remus asked confused.

"I tried to hurt her for what she did to Sirius, but I couldn't. She said I didn't mean I, but I did, I do hate her!"

  
Remus closed his eyes, he didn't hate enough. After everything he had been through, after living with the Dursleys for 10 years, after putting up with all the injustice of the world he didn't hate enough. It was a miracle, if anyone deserved to hate, it was Harry.

"It's no crime not to be able to perform an Unforgivable."

"She deserved it though! She killed Sirius!"

"When performing the Cruciatus, you have to mean it, you have to love the pain. You wanted to hurt Bella because she killed Sirius, you were trying to defend his honor. You don't hate enough Harry."

Remus sighed, it was like a victory. He didn't hate enough. "Albus and I had a long talk when I accepted the teaching position. He spoke so highly of you, and your triumphs. He told me that you asked about similarities between you and Voldemort. Why did you get into Gryffindor?"

Harry shrugged, "I asked to be put there."

"Your choice is different from Voldemort's and now so are your emotions. Voldemort is full of hate and greed, while you are full of good. Bella as would Voldemort doesn't understand why you couldn't perform the Unforgivable, she or Voldemort would never defend anyone's honor. You have great strengths Harry, never forget them or your friends."

Harry let out a deep sigh, his eyes were still red, "I'm not sure I can do this Remus."

Remus looked at him, with pride glimmering in his eyes, "With your friends by your side you can do anything."

"You won't ever leave me will you?"

"Never Harry… I will be by your side until my death." Harry gave Remus a bear like hug. "I promise you Harry, next year you will live with me. I will give you the home Sirius once offered you."

"I will have to go back to the Dursleys though next year, he will make me." Harry sighed he let go of the hug. 

"Then I will stay with you, I won't abandon you," Remus promised.

"You would do that for me?" Harry asked astonished.

"We have to make your last time at the Dursleys interesting," Remus smiled much like a Marauder.

"Thank you Remus," Harry hugged him again.

"Now its getting late, but its still your birthday. We were going to have a surprise party for you. I'll go call Dumbledore though and he'll get everyone over here. We still have a few hours." Remus got up. "But for now, Ron, Mr. Weasley and the twins are downstairs. You might want to talk to Ron, he's been worried about you."

Harry sighed, "I think I need to talk to Ron too."

"I'll send him up."

Harry nodded. Remus went to the door.

"Remus?" Harry called to him. "I'm sorry for running away, I just didn't want to hurt you."

"I forgive you Harry." Remus nodded to him; "I love you Harry."

"I love you too Remus."


	9. Conversations I

Hey! Here is another chapter! After this just one more chapter! I hope you have all been enjoying the story and I thank you SO much for all the reviews! They really mean a lot to me! Please R/R, and I don't own Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling does!!

**

Harry got off the floor. He went to the bed and sat down on it wearily, _that went well_ he thought. He wished he could have had a talk like that with Sirius. He missed him every second of the day. What was that thing Dumbledore told him once, his father was alive in him, and would show himself when Harry had most need of him, so maybe Sirius would too. He hoped he would.

"Harry?"

Harry turned his head to look to the door Ron stood there. "Hey."

Ron came in slowly; he seemed to be nervous.

"I don't bite."

"I know, er, the twins say hey." Ron looked around.

"How mad is Remus at them?" Harry asked remembering that they hadn't talked about how he got out. 

"He's not, he understands," Ron shrugged, "he was a Marauder after all."

Ron continued to glance around the room. He eyes narrowed at the chair near the wall, and then he snapped them up to Harry sitting on the bed.

"I missed you," Ron told him.

"I should have replied back to you," said Harry.

"No… no, I understand," Ron said but he quickly spoke again, "well no I don't, but I forgive you."

There was an ackward silence, Harry looked out the window for a moment and then cleared his throat, "What's been going on this summer?"

"Oh um nothing, its been quiet. Fred and George are filthy rich. They are living at home, but they insist on paying rent. They could get a place in London but they want to be close to home, you know because of the times."

Harry nodded, "I'm happy for them."

"Look Harry."

"Ron I."

They both stopped. "You go first." Ron told him.

Harry nodded, "I'm sorry I pulled you guys into such danger last year. It won't happen again, I'll listen to Hermione, no more hero stuff."

Ron let out a hollow laugh, "It will happen again, and you know it. You can't stop it, it just happens to you. I'm your best friend Harry, and I swear to you I will be with you until the end."

"When the end comes, you won't be able to help me Ron. It's going to be him or me." Harry said quietly.

"You don't know that," Ron brushed it off.

"I heard it Ron. I know the prophecy, its him or me," Harry said seriously.

"Oh."

There was more silence. Harry looked at the ground, and Ron played with his hands. 

"I don't know what you are going through Harry, I guess you losing Sirius, is like me losing my whole family. I know he meant a lot to you, and I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but honor his death. Fight like he did, he was smart, and good at what he did."

Harry turned to face him, at first he looked angry, honor his death? He didn't want him to die, but then he looked down, "How through Ron? They won't let me anywhere near the Order."

Ron shrugged, "Continue the D.A, we can study on our own, like we did for the Third Task. We can prepare ourselves. Hermione will help."

"So you are saying I should fight in Sirius' name?"

"Yes, do it for the memory of Sirius, and your parents. Don't let them die in vain. Don't let Him get the best of you."

A fire ignited in Harry, fight for the memory of Sirius and his parents… their sarcrife had been for him, and what had he done about it? That's what he could do. He had been feeling helpless since Cedric died, it was like a hollow feeling inside of him. He would never admit it to himself but he had felt helpless. Two people had died and he hadn't been able to do anything. That could change, and he could be the one to change it. He looked up at Ron and nodded, "Yes, yes, I bet Remus will help us, he won't hold me back."

Ron walked up to Harry, who got off the bed, "Together Harry. You, me and Hermione, forever."

Harry smiled now, "Forever."

"HARRY! RON! Come down here!" Remus' voice yelled up the stairs.

"Ready for your birthday Harry?" Ron grinned.

They went downstairs together. Ron had a hand on Harry's shoulder. At the bottom of the stairs, Harry almost stumbled back. A loud cheer rang out, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARRY!"

He looked around the room; Hermione stood with the twins, Bill, Charlie, Ginny, Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore, Mr. Weasley, Tonks, Moody, Mrs. Weasley, Neville and Luna.

"Harry!" Hermione came running up to him and as she always did hugged him tightly.

"No killing him on his birthday," Ron joked.

Harry smiled at the twins, Ginny, Luna and Neville. He walked up to the twins with Ron and Hermione on either side of him. He shook their hands, and they smiled back though looking a little sheepish at first.

He then shook Mr. Weasley's hand, Tonks, received a hug from Mrs. Weasley and then came face to face with Dumbledore.

He stopped, his hand fell and he backed up. 

"I will not ruin your party now, but I do hope we can talk later," Dumbledore said quietly.

Harry nodded dumbly.

"Time for cake I believe," Remus clapped his hands together seeing Harry's discomfort.

  


The tense moment passed and everyone went to get cake. Chairs were pushed out and the merry group again sat around the table that Harry suspected had been enlarged magically. Harry sat next to Remus with Ron and Hermione nearby. 

The cake was brought out by Mrs. Weasley, who was staying far away from Remus, and Harry watched wide eye as she placed it in front of him. Everyone started the sing Happy Birthday to him. It was the first time ever. 

When it was finished, Harry blew out the candles. He thought about his wish, he knew what he really wanted would never come true, so he settled for the next best thing. 

Everyone started to eat.

"I hear I have another product that must be put on the forbidden list at Hogwarts," Dumbledore's eyes twinkled first at Harry, who didn't look up, and then at the twins. "What secrets could been discovered if students had those tools in their hands." Dumbledore's glance went back to Harry, "Or what teacher offices could be broken into."

Ron and Hermione exchanged glances. Remus laughed, "Thank Merlin they weren't around in the Marauder days."

Dumbledore smiled, "Nothing would have been sacred."

"Well, was there anyway?" laughed Remus.

"Not much."

Remus started to talk to Moody and Tonks. Harry lend into that conversation until they threw him out of it. He wanted to know what was happening.

"Potter." 

Harry glanced at Moody fearing he would make him move, "Just wanted you to know that Sirius left you everything, even the house."

"Keep it for the Order." Harry said at once.

"Well, its in Remus' hand right now, you can't touch it until you come of age. Sirius did though keep his promise he gave you long ago, he offered you a home, well now you have one."

Harry nodded; he didn't want to go back to that house ever again though. 

"Presents I think," Remus looked around, most people were finishing their cake. 

The twins and Ron brought in the presents. They set them down on the table, as Remus with a wave of his wand got rid of the dishes. Harry eagerly opened them up.

He got tricks from the twins, a practice Snitch from Ron and Hermione, a few books about Aurors from Moody and Tonks, another sweater from Mrs. Weasley and from Dumbledore. It was a ring. Harry looked up at Dumbledore, and then back at the ring.

"I told you last year the Order members had a more easier way of contacting each other. In light of events, and looking ahead, though you are not a member, I have given you one. I do not want you to ever feel that you are alone and can't depend on the Order."

Harry put it on eagerly.

"To talk to someone, gently press it and say who you wish to speak to." Dumbledore instructed.

"Thank you."

"Now that presents are over, may I talk to you alone Harry?" Dumbledore asked. 


	10. Conversations II and goodbye

Hey! Here is the LAST chapter! I hope you are all enjoying the story, and you like the end. This is it, I am not continuing this story… well I always say that. I will not continue this story unless I get hit with a lightning bolt and get a brilliant idea. I am going to start working on two short stories, well maybe, concerning Sirius and James. So I hope when I get those out you will read them! I don't own Harry Potter, J.K.Rowling does! Please R/R.

**

Harry sighed, he had been hoping not to have to talk to him until school began at least. Dumbledore though was not asking, he motioned Harry to follow him. They went back upstairs to his room so they would be alone. Three talks in one day, Harry thought, that was a record. 

Dumbledore conjured a chair and Harry once more sat on his bed. Dumbledore looked up at Harry.

"I'm sorry sir," Harry said at once. 

Dumbledore put his chin in one of his hands. He asked quietly, "For what?"

"For making you worry, for making you do more work…" Harry stopped, his voice dropped, "for making you cry."

"My dear boy," Dumbledore shook his head sadly. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I am the one who is sorry, I have put you through so much."

Harry didn't say anything.

"How are you doing?"

"Better sir," Harry nodded.

"Remus has informed me of what has been happening. I did not hear the details of his latest talk with you, but they went well? I am glad you are safe and home."

Harry just nodded. He didn't meet the eye of the Headmaster.

"I believe something else is bothering you." 

Harry blushed. "I just. Well last year, I yelled at you, I broke your things, I made you leave school."

"My dear boy, do not worry yourself with those petty things," Dumbledore placed a hand on Harry's shoulder. "I am not angry, but proud. For you to take the step to prepare yourself and others for tasks that lay ahead, it makes me so proud."

"It still got you into trouble."

"No more trouble than I was already in. Sometimes Harry sacrifices have to be made for the greater good. Your friends, and I, along with Remus, will do anything to protect you. And not just because of the role you will have to play in your life, but for who you are."

'Do you know, during this past year, when you made the secret D.A, and had the article published… I thought I was back in time about 20 years, and James Potter was running around the school causing trouble. This past year you did many things he would have done. You also did many things that he would have clapped you on the back, and said, 'Yes, he is my son, and I am proud of him'. You are the image of your father, and of Sirius."

"Sirius said I wasn't like my father, that I didn't take risks, he wanted to meet me during the year in secret."

"There is a line between risks and life endangering situations," Dumbledore chuckled, "your father would have met Sirius in secret, I'm sure of it, but you also have that common sense that Lily had. I think Sirius spoke rashly, you did the right thing of course then."

Harry thought for a moment. He thought about his parents, and when he had seen them in the Pensieve. He thought about Sirius, and Remus, but as always, his thoughts then went to Voldemort and the havoc being caused. "Sir, has anything been happening?"

"A few attacks, nothing serious. Voldemort I believe is wondering how he failed, and gathering more forces," Dumbledore nodded.

"Sir."

"Yes Harry?"

"I want to be more involved. I'm going to fight in Sirius's name; Ron and Hermione are going to prepare. We might need help though," Harry told him forcefully. 

"If you want to be in the Order, no Harry, but if you want assistance in your training, then yes I will help. During vacations, I'm sure Tonks, Kingsley, Moody and Remus will assist you. During the year though, if you have any questions or need any books, I will be there for you. I believe the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher will be more enjoyable this year and will be able to help you too."

"Thank you sir," Harry nodded.

"No matter what happens Harry, I will be there for you. Never be afraid to come to me," Dumbledore told him.

Harry nodded. "Thank you sir."

"Your welcome Harry." Dumbledore smiled at him, and his eyes twinkled. 

**

"HARRY! We have to go!" Remus yelled up the stairs. He stood at the bottom of the stairs. It was September 1st, and the Portkey to take them to Kings Cross was going to activate in five minutes.

Fearing that Harry wasn't up yet, Remus took the stairs two at a time. He knocked on Harry's door and then reached out a hand to open it. It opened though before Remus reached the handle and 16-year-old Harry stood there with a grin on his face.

"Thought I was still asleep?"

"I did."

"I've been up for a few hours packing," Harry shrugged and let Remus come into the room. His trunk was still opened inside, and was filled to the top with books.

"I thought you packed last night," asked Remus.

"I had to finish a few essays, I found more information in some of the books I got," Harry told him.

"You are beginning to sound like Hermione," Remus laughed.

"Packing, I felt like Hermione. Some of my books won't fit. Will you do the honors?" Harry picked up a stack of ten books. 

Remus shook his head and took out his wand. 

"Thank you," Harry grinned and put the now pebble sized books into his trunk and closed it. 

"We have to go," said Remus.

"Let's go then."

Harry picked up one end of the trunk, and Remus grabbed the other. "Put it down," Remus advised Harry. Taking out his wand again, Remus put a levitation charm on it and made it feather light. "Away we go."

"I can't wait until I can do that next year," Harry looked at Remus enviously.

Remus laughed and trailed after Harry with his trunk and Hedwig's cage. They went down to the kitchen. On the table sat an old Daily Prophet. Remus picked it up and held it out to Harry.

"3…2…1," He said looking at his watch.

They were gone with the familiar pull behind Harry's navel.

They appeared in Kings Cross in a second. Harry looked around and smiled. He really missed this world.

"Glad to be back?"

Harry nodded. "Every place in this world is a reminder of him, but I did miss it."

"You can see him in his dog form running around saying good bye to you. I can see him though as a boy causing chaos, or standing with his parents scowling."

"HARRY!" the Weasleys and Hermione had arrived.

"Hey Ron! Hermione! Ginny!" Harry yelled back.

"Come Harry, we already have a compartment," Hermione grabbed his hand and ran off leading him.

Remus came after him with his trunk. He listened as Hermione explained to him what they had learned and what they were planning to work on when they arrived at school. Harry smiled and laughed along with them. Remus smiled, he was glad to see Harry together with his friends and enjoying himself. He looked at peace, which Remus thought he needed.

They boarded the train, but Ron and Harry doubled back for his trunk. They loaded it together and then went to stand with the Weasleys.

Remus stayed back, he had not talked to Molly Weasley since Harry's birthday. Harry, who had not heard of their fight hugged Mrs. Weasley and shook the hands of the twins who had come to see them off.

The train whistle blew. The trio went back toward the train. On the stairs, Harry looked back and ran back to Remus.

"I thought you were going to leave without saying good bye," Remus raised an eyebrow at him.

"I never had two people to say good bye to," Harry shrugged sheepishly.

"Owl me when you can," Remus asked.

"Of course I will," Harry promised.

"I'll be around when I can. If you need any help just send me Hedwig," Remus told him.

"I can't wait to see you again," said Harry. "Thank you for everything."

"Always remember Harry, he's always here," Remus pointed to his heart, "as am I and your parents. And the Marauders, well they are always here." He took a Dungbomb out of his pocket and gave it to Harry. "I put a bag of tricks in your trunk, use them well."

"I realized something this summer," Harry smiled at Remus, "I need you in my life as much as I need to know Sirius is always there!"

He gave Remus a hug. The train whistle blew again. Harry let go he had to get on the train. He went off toward the train, but stopped. He turned and rushed back toward Remus and embraced him again.

Ron opened the door on the train as it started to move. Harry let go of Remus for the second time and raced after the train. He jumped on and standing in the doorway, he waved eagerly.

Remus waved back. He bit his lip, he never realized how hard saying good bye was.

"He's all right," Molly Weasley came over. "Thank you."

"Your welcome, I'm sorry I kept him away from you all summer, but it was in his best interest."

"I know."

"Harry will always be all right," Remus smiled as the train was now out of view. "He's the son of a Marauder, and Marauders are made of the toughest stuff around." Of course, that was true, Remus thought, looking back on their lives, they were all hard, but none of them compared to Harry's. "He'll always be all right as long as he remembers he's never alone." 

THE END

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